I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE ASKED MYSELF THAT LATEY. SEEMS THERE IS CRAZY TO THE RIGHT, CRAZY TO THE LEFT, MALE CRAZY, FEMALE CRAZY, RICH CRAZY, POOR CRAZY, COUNTRY CRAZY, CITY CRAZY, YOUNG CRAZY, OLD CRAZY, WHITE CRAZY, BLACK CRAZY, AND YELLOW CRAZY. ALSO, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT WE, IN THE UNITED STATES, DON’T HAVE THE MARKET CORNERED ON CRAZY EITHER. THERE IS EUROPE CRAZY, ASIA CRAZY, SOUTH AMERICA CRAZY, MIDDLE EAST CRAZY, ANDAFRICACRAZY. AS I WAS DRIVING HOME FROM THE UNIVERSITY THE OTHER NIGHT AND LISTENING TO MY RADIO I, ONCE AGAIN, WAS ASKING MYSELF HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE FRIGGEN CRAZY? I PONDERED ON THAT QUESTION FOR QUITE SOME TIME AND REALIZED THAT I COULDN’T ANSWER THAT QUESTION. THEN I THOUGHT MAYBE THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION I SHOULD BE ASKING. MAYBE I SHOULD BE ASKING ‘HAVE I GONE CRAZY’? YOU SEE I REALIZED THAT THERE IS NOT MUCH I COULD DO ABOUT THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT I THINK THAT THERE ARE A FEW THINGS ABOUT MY OWN MENTAL STATE OFBEINGTHAT I COULD EXAMINE. SO I ASKED MYSELF ‘HAVE I GONE FRIGGEN CRAZY’? AGAIN, I PONDERED ON THE QUESTION. SINCE IT IS A TWO AND A HALF HOUR DRIVE HOME FROM THE UNIVERSITY, I HAD LOTS OF TIME TO PONDER. AS I WAS THINKING, A CHECK LIST BEGAN TO FORM. DO I HAVE A DESIRE TO HURT MYSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE? I HAVE BELIEVED FOR A LONG TIME THAT HEALTHY PEOPLE DO NOT HURT THEMSELVES OR OTHERS. HAVE I DEVELOPED A JUDGEMENTAL ATTITUDE WHICH ASSUMES THAT IF SOMEONE DOESN’T THINK THE WAY I THINK OR ACT THE WAY I ACT THAT THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND I MUST SEE TO IT THAT THEY CHANGE, OR AM I TOLERANT OF OTHER KINDS OF THOUGHTS AND LIFESTYLES. DO I FEEL THE NEED TO LEGISLATE MY WAY OF THINKING AND OR ACTING TO FORCE THEM TO CHANGE? CAN I EMBRACE DIFFERENCES? CAN I LISTEN TO OTHERS AS THEY EXPRESS THEIR THOUGHTS? OR DO I GO INTO EVERY DISCUSSION WITH THE NOTION THAT I AM RIGHT AND THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG? DO I HAVE COMPASSION FOR THOSE WHO THINK AND ACT DIFFERENTLY? AS I WAS PONDERING MY CHECK LIST TO SEE IF I WAS FRIGGEN CRAZY I THOUGHT OF THE POEM THAT I WAS REQUIRED TO MEMORIZE IN THE 8TH GRADE BY RUDYARD KIPLING ENTILTED “IF”. I CERTAINLY DIDN’T REMEMBER THE WHOLE POEM, BUT I REMEMBERED IT BEGAN WITH
“IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS AND BLAMING IT ON YOU, IF YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF WHEN ALL MEN DOUBT YOU, BUT MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR THEIR DOUBTING TOO, IF YOU CAN WAIT AND NOT BE TIRED BY WAITING, OR BEING LIED ABOUT, DON’T DEAL IN LIES, OR BEING HATED, DON’T GIVE WAY TO HATING, AND YET DON’T LOOK TOO GOOD, NOT TALK TOO WISE”, AND HE CONCLUDED BY “THEN YOU WILL BE A MAN, MY SON!”
MY LIST GREW TO INCLUDE CAN I BE REASONED WITH? I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD HUNCH THAT ONE CAN NOT REASON WITH CRAZY. ANOTHER BIGGIE ON MY LIST WAS HAVE I LOST MY SENSE OF HUMOR? I LOVE THE QUOTE BY VOLTAIRE WHICH SAYS “GOD IS A COMEDIAN WORKING TO AN AUDIENCE TOO AFRAID TO LAUGH”. CAN I STILL LAUGH AT MYSELF AND MY HUMANITY? HAVE I GOTTEN COMPLETELY SUCKED INTO SERIOUSNESS? AND FINALLY, I ASKED MYSELF AS I PULLED INTO MY DRIVEWAY, IS MY HEART STILL OPEN TO LOVE? NOT JUST LOVE FOR THOSE WHO THINK AND ACT THE WAY I DO, BUT FOR ALL? OR HAS FEAR FILLED MY HEART AND I NOW THINK IT IS UP TO ME TO STRAIGHTEN UP THIS WORLD? DO I HAVE MOSTLY FEAR IN MY HEART OR DO I HAVE MOSTLY LOVE? HAS THE WORLD GONE FRIGGEN COMPLETELY CRAZY? I GUESS I HAVE TO STOP ASKING MYSELF THAT QUESTION AND START CONCENTRATING ON MYSELF AND WHAT I CAN DO TO LIVE IN LOVE, COMPASSION, OPENNESS TO DIVERSITY, HUMOR, AND NOT COMPLETELY FILL MY HEART WITH FEAR. MY FINAL HUNCH AS I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE IS THAT IF I FOCUS ON MY OWN HEART MY WORLD WILL KIND OF TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.